


Introverted Nana

by GuysIActuallyGotAnAccount



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Crying, First fic I wrote without a deep plot, Hurt/Comfort, Jisung best brother, Na Jaemin-centric, No Plot/Plotless, Not a surprise there, Not too angsty, Short, Wish me luck, Xaiojun best hyung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:20:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29171775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuysIActuallyGotAnAccount/pseuds/GuysIActuallyGotAnAccount
Summary: Just a short study of how introverted Jaemin was with everyone in 2020, except in this work he isn't okay.
Relationships: Na Jaemin & Park Jisung, Na Jaemin & Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun
Comments: 2
Kudos: 47





	Introverted Nana

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Jaemin is perfect and doesn't need to change anything about himself, just wrote this super short thing for fun

To put things simply, Jaemin was an introvert.

He'd never have to take a test to know that he has always been, and always will be an introvert.

He remembered always being shy in class, too scared to raise his hand to answer the question when he easily knew the answer. He even remembered how anxious he would get in big crowds, on the streets, in lines, on the bus, and although he acclimated to fit in to the crowd, he never could let go of that anxiety.

Because Na Jaemin was an introvert.

And why his introverted ass decided to pick up the idol life, still amuses him to this day.

It's not like it was so bad. Sure there were about 18 members, but most of the time it was just Dream he needed to socialize with. He felt comfortable with them, and free to love each one of their unique traits over time. Besides, he only had to live with Jeno, Renjun and Jisung, so things weren't too bad.

But then more members came, more people he'd have to get comfortable around. But he'd later find out those 3 new members would be in China, and there was nothing to worry about.

That was until the next year. Where 2 new members came in, and NCT 2020 was formed with ALL 23 members of NCT.

To put it calmly, the introverted side of Jaemin was screwed. F*cked even.

But he figured if he could handle just about little to zero screen time and a whopping one song in NCT 2018, then he could join in on all NCT 2020 had to offer.

He knew all the old members anyway. Well maybe he was only close with Jaehyun and Lucas, but he at least knew everyone else's name. That was a start, right? And the new WayV members were uh, YangYang (got it), Hendery (Easy), and... whelp, he was 90% sure it started with an X anyway. The 2 newest members who he thinks were both younger than him, Sungchan and (God how was he supposed to pronounce Shotaro's name again?) seemed so sweet. He could do this. He got this, he could handle all 2020 gave him.

But deep down he knew he was screwed.

He never really talked during interviews and kind of distanced himself from everyone backstage, because wow was there a lot of people. And wow was it overwhelming. Everyone respected his space, because they understood that not everyone was very social in crowds.

And then there was NCT WORLD, a television program with all 23 of them interacting and bonding with eachother, and to say Jaemin was ready for it to be over was such a spitfire example of how he was feeling.

He didn't really drink much coffee when being filmed, trying to cut down on his unhealthy order for the fans. So he was quite tired most the time, but he didn't mind sitting back and watching everyone have fun. He liked watching them interact with eachother, even if he didn't quite know everyone yet. 

He remembered sitting at one of the tables during break, as the camera crew was setting up for arm wrestling, leading to a soccer activity. He didn't mind sitting by himself, staring off into space, but he wondered how easy it was for everyone to be so confident and comfortable around everyone so easily. He saw how everyone was talking with eachother freely, and even though he was on the 00's team with several of his brothers that he knew well, he didn't have it in him to socialize. He didn't want to tear himself apart, because not everyone was outgoing, but he noticed how Shotaro and Sungchan were more outgoing and confident than him and it made him a little sad.

He must have been staring off into space for a while, before someone snapped him back into real time.

But it was someone he didn't really expect to come check on him.

Maybe he was expecting Taeyong or Yuta or one of his older Hyungs, but this Hyung was not someone that entered his list.

"Hey Jaemin, how are you?" They said sitting down next to him, fully expecting some kind of conversation with the younger.

Jaemin felt bad for what he was about to say, but he kind of said it without thinking.

"I don't really know how to say your name Hyung."

He'd regret how blunt he sounded later, but he figured this was a better conversation than the ones he usually has when someone asks how he is.

'Hey Jaemin, how are you?'

'I'm good.'

'Glad to hear it.'

He wasn't up to faking a smile through a meaningless conversation today, and hoped to God he wasn't being rude when stating his honest thought.

"Oh, that's okay. It can be tricky, but the easiest way to pronounce it is 'Zaow-June', can you do that?"

"XiaoJun."

"There you go! Xiaojun, you got it." 

Jaemin still felt very awkward with Xiaojun being so nice to him, but he supposed it felt good being praised for doing something right for once. When Jaemin was working on 'Make A Wish' with Xiaojun, he remembered how shy and scared his Hyung had looked sometimes, often staying quiet yet shinning so bright when it was his time to sing. Jaemin really looked up to him as he saw Xiaojun get so much more comfortable as time went on. He wishes he could be more like that. 

Jaemin figured he must have zoned out again, because Xiaojun Hyung had to wave a hand in his face to get a response from Jaemin again.

"Ya, you didn't answer my question from earlier. How are you?"

Jaemin didn't want to worry his hyung, but he didn't want to act fine either.

"It's just a lot I guess." Jaemin sighed, quickly adding in "Xiaojun Hyung." To prove he hadn't forgotten what he had learned moments ago.

"Ah, I feel the same way too Jaemin. But everyone's been so nice here, so it's been really fun." Xiaojun spoke softly, and carefully.

Jaemin appreciated how careful and Xiaojun was being, and was glad his hyung understood what he meant without having to explain it any further. But his comment only made him sadder. 'How was Xiaojun able to have fun with everyone so much easier than I was?' And his hyung was right, everyone had been so nice, yet he was still too anxious to put himself out there. He just felt right staying at a distance, even if fans might worry because that's just who he was. Yet it still troubled him how everyone else just seemed to be fine with all of these changes, And no one else felt overwhelmed, even the new members.

Jaemin figured he should respond soon, or else Xaiojun Hyung might get worried about him spacing out too much. He also felt like hyung would worry about what he wanted to say, but he continued anyway.

"Yes but how are you able to handle it so well. I'd understand if you were overwhelmed, but I... shouldn't be." Jaemin said itso quietly that Xiaojun had to lean over to hear it more.

"I still get overwhelmed, and I'm still just trying to fit in actually. I guess I'm just hyping it up for the camera, maybe? When I'm with WayV I can actually be very quiet." 

And bless Xiaojun's heart for being patient enough to try and help Jaemin, and speaking freely with him. But Jaemin was still confused about what he wanted to say, and hoped Xiaojun would just understand what he was trying to convey today.

"But I can be loud around my group easily, I just, I'd rather just sit back and watch in big crowds I think, and it's making everyone worry. But I'm fine, just, I think I'm fine. I just wish it came naturally."

And Xiaojun saw just how frustrated Jaemin was getting with himself, he saw the battle emerging inside of his head, and so he tried his best to help, he really did.

"And there's nothing wrong with being more reserved than everyone else. You're allowed to be shy if that's who you are, Jaemin. It's a nice change from all of this actually." Xiaojun smiled at Jaemin at the end, and Jaemin actually had enough energy to smile back. It was a nice change talking to someone like this. He figured many of them were hyping it up for the camera, and was glad Xiaojun could show his real self around him.

Jaemin's thoughts quieted down significantly that day, and he was grateful for his hyungs help whenever it was there.

He knew it would get easier to know who everyone was as time went on, and they would have more moments to get closer. As he thought about that, hae felt better about getting through this year, and knew he could do it.

But then another thought kind of crossed his mind late at night, as it was just a very draining day on everyone. Realisation struck that NCT 2020 would be ending soon, and he still didn't get a chance to talk with everyone. He felt so tired all the time, he just wished he wasn't like this. He just wished he was as enthusiastic as Johnny or Haechan, but he didn't want to fake it all the time either. He just wanted to stop feeling anxious and antisocial all the damn time, and he hated how he doesn't give enough for the fans.

Jaemin couldn't hold it in that night as he cried into his pillow, trying not to wake Jisung up who was sleeping above him. He didn't want to cry, he wasn't even that sad, just mad at himself for struggling more than everyone else. He just didn't understand how it came so naturally to everyone else. He was frustrated and confused and tired, and just needed sleep, but it's so hard to sleep nowadays. How did everyone else sleep with all the pressure on them?

Unfortunately Jaemin shoving his face in his pillow, in attempts to quiet the cries shaking his whole frame wasn't quiet enough as Jisung woke up very worried for his Hyungs wellbeing who was laying on the bed under his.

He quickly checked his phone, as it blinded him with the sudden contrast of light, blindly processing that it was far too late for Jaemin to be up, before hastily climbed down his bed and quickly climbing in bed beside his sobbing hyung.

He didn't know what was making hyung upset, if it was the nervousness of the upcoming concert, or uncertainty of next year's comebacks, or maybe he was just homesick, or doubting himself, Jisung would figure that out later, because right now all he knew was that he needed to be there for Jaemin like he was for him so many times, and so that's what he did.

But as soon as Jaemin felt Jisung curl up behind him, he felt dumb for crying about something like this that it only made him cry harder. He curled more in on himself pressing his hands to his face to quiet the noise or try to force the crying to die down, anything to change how embarrassing this night had become.

Jisung apparently didn't like that, as he gently pulled Jaemin's hands away, and kissed his neck, shushing him and rubbing his arm up and down.

Jaemin would have to thank his baby later for being quiet and not pushing him to talk in this state, because he couldn't even talk if he wanted to. He tried showing his gratitude by messily finding Jisung's long skinny fingers, wrapping his hand around them and pulling Jisung's arm around him, managing to hug him tight as his chest constricted painfully with his heartbreaking sobs. He stayed like that until he fell asleep from exhaustion, and Jisung fortunately never let go the entire night.

When morning came, Jaemin was sad to find out his baby wasn't there when he turned himself around. He took a moment to process what kind of mess he must have looked like for the Maknae to handle with last night, before ultimately not caring, and pouting before quickly getting up to find him.

His head hurt and his bones ached as he got up, but all of that was forgotten as he found who he was looking for before quickly latching onto his baby, and burrying his face into their shirt.

Jisung carded his hands through his hyungs hair before softly asking "How'd you sleep hyung?"

For Jaemin's raw throat to mumble against Jisung's shirt, going "Not the best."

Jisung hummed in response, before Jeno reminded everyone that breakfast was ready. Jaemin would feel guilty that he didn't get up in enough time to make it later, but he was so grateful to be allowed to sleep in. Jisung must have told everyone something, because they were all being very kind and gentle when dealing with the very sensitive Jaemin today, and although all attention was on him most of the time, it felt nice for once.

Jaemin was able to finish 2020 with his brothers by his side, and even though he wasn't as social as everyone else, he still had just as much fun as them, and wouldn't trade the life he had for anything different.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so I've got sort of a confession to make. So Taeyong's still my ult bias ever, and WayVs still Ot7 and my ult group and yadda yadda, but my Dream bias maybe quite possibly perhaps sort of... changed. From sweet loving Nana, who I literally write half my Fanfics about, who is the easiest to write about, who I never hesitate to post about... to Renjun, who is like barely mentioned in any works either posted or on hold, and wow is this irritating me. It feels like I'm cheating guys...


End file.
